i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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