I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
