You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
