I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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