Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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