i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
