Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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