she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize