I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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