Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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