it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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