That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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