did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize