dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
