Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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