We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
