i can't believe i had my finger in that
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
