fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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