he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
