I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize