Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
