Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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