I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
