road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
