rhymes with "ouble enetration"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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