I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
