Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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