Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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