Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
