Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
