All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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