omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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