The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
