Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize