how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I woke up under a house in Key West
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
