you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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