do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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