I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't think brook has ever known best
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
