I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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