Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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