Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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