i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
