I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She even gives head with a lisp.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
