So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
