Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
