Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
