Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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