Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This is my gift to your gina
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
