he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
