I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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