Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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