Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
