Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
