I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
