he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
COCAINE IS GR8
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
