Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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