i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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