everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
