You work out of a Hotel?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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