And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
