ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I smell like Dick and happiness
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
