ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
