You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
