yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize