And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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