I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
These tits shall not be calmed
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize