i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish you could order shots online.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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